Separation Anxiety Attacks!!!

Elle Marie didn't go to school today because she is having diarrhea and fever. She is now home, sitting on Tita Nene's bed and watching Ice Age 2 after completing 5 Elmo DVDs and Ice Age 3. She has been laughing, screaming and giggling the whole time that makes me wonder whether she is really sick... but of course, I prefer her this way than seeing her just lying on the bed and looking frail.

Last Monday, I said yes to being the Assistant Program Manager for GREAT Women project. This project is funded by the Canadian International Development Agency, the same organization that funded PEARL2 (my former office). This is actually a big leap from my Monitoring and Evaluation Officer position with PEARL2 and of course, heavier load.

On my way home after meeting with the Project Management team, I felt a sudden cold tingle in my body. It dawned on me that I just said yes to not being with Elle Marie 24/7. I will not be able to play Elle Marie as frequent as I wish. And, situations like today (Elle Marie is sick) makes me wonder whether I made the right decision.

This job offer came as a surprise to me. I did not apply for it. I was actually applying for a position in NCFRW based on my friend's recommendation (NCRFW is the local executing agency of GREAT Women project) It took so long for them to process my application so I did not really expect. Then, I remembered one afternoon after Elle Marie recovered from pneumonia, we decided to go to Gymboree Greenbelt5 and dropped by the chapel. I was so overwhelmed that time. I felt tired because of the sleepless nights, emotionally down, i felt alone. I went to the confessional corner and talked with the priest about my burdens. He told me to pray and I did.

That same afternoon, GREAT Women project called me saying that they are interested in getting me for the position and would like to meet me to discuss it further. At first, I was flattered but I worried about Elle Marie. Then, I got a text message from our new maid saying that she is joining us on the 22nd of August... Then I got a call from my mother saying that she is coming to Manila to help me with Elle Marie...

When it rains, it pours. Yes, I will still have separation anxiety attacks once in a while. I will still worry about my daughter. Who wouldn't? But I am excited and thankful that my mother is coming over. I know that Elle Marie will be in better hands with my mother.